Tasty Burger

must watch movies

2012-01-10T07:13:00.002+11:00

It's always sunny in Philadelphia

Eastbound and down

Almost famous

Testees

Kenny vs spenny

The trip (steve koogan)

Red Hill Burger

2010-08-31T18:08:00.005+10:00

Why? Why? Why no-one blogs burgers anymore? It's a travesty! Here is our most recent creation, Maryanne cooked and I composed. Not bad.

Captains Mountain burger - sometimes simple is best

2008-02-10T23:16:00.000+11:00

This blog is a bit out of sequence but couldn't leave it undone from our big move. Did someone say Wallyworld? Most of the way through a big day of driving from Coonabarabran, the clan needed to refuel somewhere between Goondoowindi and Toowoomba. The Captains Mountain roadhouse was the destination of choice and provided a classic Queensland burger. I don't know for sure but I think the BBQ sauce thing is pretty dominant here, you need to ask for tomato sauce. This burger was pretty simple but did not disappoint. Even the flies liked it.

Glovey would be good to have a pin on the google map:

27°55'20.31"S

151°10'14.01"E

Big Chief Burger - Coolangatta

2008-02-03T22:18:00.000+11:00

Here is possibly the best burger on Goldy (The Gold Coast). You will find it in Cooly (Coolangatta). I had the Big Chief works burger but with vege patty instead of the beef. They said they had never done this before but in fairness I did have rump steak for dinner the night before at the Cooly surf club.

As you would expect in Queensland the works burger comes with the works including pineapple. You will find it here.

No Nostalgia

2007-10-06T00:55:00.000+10:00

Joeleeee’s surprise duck downunder prompted the TB Crew (minus other globe trotter G-Lovey) to cancel all appointments and b-line to the Torqs without even checking the forecast. On this sparkling early Spring day, leaving the fate of conditions in Dave’s capable hands was a wise move as he delivered classic mid-tide, 2-2.5 footers. Even Luca danced an impromptu jig to the big D involving lots of kicking and throwing of sand.

With Zombie taking first kid shift, Dubs and I sprinted out the back leaving nearly enough white water wake behind us for the gromms to peddle. Maybe not the sharpest move on my part given my lack of surf fitness (surfing Manhattan subways only strengthens one’s will), but after a sufficient rest, there were plenty of curling lefties to be had for all. Rotating Luca shifts turned out to be more than manageable and everyone managed to attain a quality level of knackeredness, which of course sparked the merge for a burge….

Sitting in the sun outside Angry Bald Guy café munching on the tropical beef burger (sans bacon as Dubs discovered) was a most excellent way to wrap up the day and without becoming too nostaligic… I can’t wait for more.

Very Tasty Indeed.

Swiss Alps Burger

2007-09-16T02:37:00.000+10:00

When you think Switzerland, you think Victorinox army knives, mountains, choccy, cuckoo clocks and a stubborn monetary policy that makes you carry francs everywhere, not burgers. Based on a sample size of one, I can now confirm that the swiss should stick to fondue and give the burgers a miss. Ben, Jane and I try the burger with the lot at a restaurant in picturesque Grindelwald. Ben decides to eat his finger instead cause it tastes better. No, it was a fine burger after a hike but, you guessed it, just not tasty. The euro burger hunt continues. Dublin next i think.

Unglaublich!

2007-09-16T02:21:00.000+10:00

So it isn't my own surf that I'm writing about but the location makes it bloggable. Munich, not too close to the sea, no chance of a surf surely? So what are those bikes doing in the street with bloody board carriers strapped on them? The answer is the Isar River which flows like a bastard all year round (controlled by some upstream hydro plant) to give the world's most famous standing wave. I think we saw it in Step into Liquid or some surf flick yeah? Really funny to watch up close with it all being taken very seriously. Each rider lines up and waits his/her turn (saw 2 ladies there the second day) then jumps out onto the wave already standing, you drift/cut back and forth for an unspoken but carefully respected amount of time (about 20seconds) then you fall off the back and paddle to the edge. Didn't have a wetsuit or a board and not much chance to hire one in Munich but maybe next time i'll be a bit more organised. Note that one bloke is only in his boardies, he managed to drift over to the edge and dismount without getting wet!

Sorry aboot th' lang bide fur an update

2007-09-15T23:47:00.000+10:00

Few quick updates from the land of kilts and bagpipes! The first is a scottish highland burger sampled with Jen Antonchuk at a temporary stall during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. You'll note in the photo the lack of anything in the bun other than meat.... this one was never going to do well and jen's face says it all, NOT TASTY! but edible after a hard day watching shows. There's also the chance to get a deep fried haggis burger at a chippy I saw, so one day soon I'll get onto it.

Big Wednesday on the peninsula

2007-09-10T13:34:00.000+10:00

Dub decided to have much needed day off on Wednesday. A lucky thing, as otherwise he wouldn't have witnessed this bodacious swell down at Mt Martha.

McSurf

2007-08-12T14:27:00.000+10:00

Och aye! Hoots! What a jolly wee time we had celebrating perhaps Lockie's last surf before decamping for bonnie Scotland. Torqs turned it on for us, being windy, cold and wet. These two highland warriors made it to the beach after Dub was struck down. Worth it? It's almost always worth it. Today was no exception.

We did of course manage to get through some vegie burgers at Spooners and grommett Luca managed not to turn the gas off this time.

Finally, Lockie, a stirring tune to get you inspired for the move.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=x2FTkvJVwOg

Noosa Noosa everywhere

2007-08-09T17:50:00.000+10:00

Only worth a mention for the map pin, I score a burger with the lot from Cafe Terrace in Noosaville just off Noosa Pde around the corner from Noosa Heads. I think we chose it by dint of the fact it is one the few places up there without the word Noosa in the name. It is certainly full to the brim with fresh produce but suffers insufficient sauce-age. Fortunately that's easily rectified and makes it a solid (but messy) tasty. Anyway, who cares when you're revelling in 27 deg sunshine instead of dreary 14 deg Melbourne?

No pics of the burger but a couple at Tea Tree Bay where Zombie normally surfs i believe? What a great, near deserted beach! Highly recommended for clean blue water and a quietude well suited to beach scrabble and disc. Hopefully next time there'll be some swell :)

RZA Burger

2007-08-08T04:05:00.000+10:00

Recent backstage interview with the RZA revealed the ultimate hippie bigger

Q: What's a RZA burger?

RZA: A RZA burger is a veggie patty with a fried egg, cheese, lettuce, pickels and all that, smashed between two delicious waffles. Spread mustard and mayo on it with a little butter and put that sh*t together.

check here for more ancient healing techniques from the RZA and Bill Murray

Frisbee Challenge

2007-07-25T04:06:00.000+10:00

Here I am in central park without a frisbee to throw....

He who sends Joeleee an Aussie frisbee first wins THE prize

10 Spring St Apt 3

New York, new York 10012

USA

Northern Hemisphere

Earth

Solar System

Milky Way

Universe

???

Strange Combinations

2007-07-17T22:22:00.000+10:00

Mmmmmm... cupcakes.....

Its like Dub and winning settlers

Like G-Lovie and warmth in the water

Like Serge and straight eyes

Like Zombie and free passes

Unbelievable! He can talk sh*t from the other side of the planet!

Strange Patty in a Strange Land

2007-07-11T00:53:00.000+10:00

A late entry I know, but as the regular reader of this news magazine would be familiar with, it’s content over timing. Upon re-entry to my native land, I have visited many spots and sampled many food items, but only few of which are worthy of mention here (doggs, slices and American lager amid a lack of surf has not been good for my version of the trim and tuck Tasty Burger crew bod). However, I did recently sample a burger not-of-the-usual meat variety.

A drive through the magical North Cascades mountain range procured lots of wonderful things, including a stop off at an old-timer dinner. I walked in not expecting much for a trucker type roadhouse, but I was instantly greeting by the friendliest of country types. Upon learnin’ of my yearnin’ for a burger, I was quickly seated and given a list containing an unusual variety.

There were at least four meats on hand beyond the standard beef including emu, elk, venison and buffalo. Given my proximity to a certain onlooker, I opted for the largest among the menagerie and tucked in. As many omnivores would know, buffalo or bison meat is advertised as more lean, yet not lacking in full flavor for those craving the more traditional bovine tang. This patty did not disappoint – grilled on a flame but not overdone and still juicy. Complimentary fillings were crisp and fresh of the salad variety and sauce was brought to the table for the diner’s choice of quantity and drip factor (a typical practice in non-fast-food US eateries). Although the bun was below par (a slim yellowish bread product) the buffalo burger was indeed tasty, with the alternative meat highly recommended, even for the non-adventurous.

In an update of the surfing injury I sustained in my final days down under, I have yet to regain feeling in the knuckles of my index and middle fingers on my left hand – 2 inches above the spot where Dubs decided to use his board as a human dicing devise. I continue to view this development of a further progression of my super-hero transformation and will shop accordingly. I’ll test my new powers of senselessness on Dub’s face once my surfing nemesis appears before me again…

Wild and Woolly

2007-06-27T15:40:00.000+10:00

Ok it has been simply ages (again) since we had a surf, call it a period of suitable mourning for the departure of dear Joeleee Bling? And I guess that we did all wear black (see pics).

Anyway, not to be perturbed by the wintry cold of south eastern Australia in June, Andreas, Serge, Pistol and I saddle up and head down to Phillip Island. The swell chart says there is heaps of size and nary a skerrick of wind in the air so we are all pretty excited (especially me after 3hrs of driving, Dre I am never doing the Port Melbourne morning trip again. Heh). However we're greeted by tiny and messy waves on a low tide, dang! Smith's is flat and even Woolamai looks tame without a single soul out. Well someone has to be first in the water we figure so down we go and into the chop, carefully avoiding all the fishermen casting out into our break and giving us bemused looks. We are swiftly met with that ol' chestnut, that ol' trick, that ol' illusion, that misjudgement of size from carpark vs size in-the-water, how it undoes us again! The waves are considerably larger than we thought and getting bigger as time progresses. What's more they are creating a constant stream of white froth that seems to never ceasingly spew from the ocean, washing us pathetically back against the shore as one might spray leaves off one's driveway with a hose (pre water restrictions). Only once do we get out the back to get mashed by rogue killers and ungracefully spat back onto the sand. Somewhere in all this we catch a bunch of foaming dubya-dubya ('white water' for the un-initiated) and tell ourselves that it is worth it at least just to get in the water (which is true). After that the only place open is the san remo bakery where the friendly lady undercharges us for everything we buy which left me with a moral dilemma: do you give back the 3 dollars extra change even when you know the thing you bought will taste awful?

Not to end on a low note we head back to town for rounds of G&T's, pizza, back street fitzroy pubs and more G&T's, lovely day out I say!

PS I only put the embarrassing pic of sergio up for posterity because it is the last know photograph of his gloves and funny bonnet after they were left on the roof of the car when we drove off :) sorry no pic dub, taken pre your arrival.

Welcome to the fold

2007-06-14T09:46:00.000+10:00

Geddit? origami? fold?

anyway, great to have another blogger Jen, and just sorry that your first burger write-up was of the 'not tasty' variety!

and yes that frog is from a single square sheet of paper, for some more amazing origami check out here, he's Robert Lang, a former researcher with NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory and he's reinvigorated origami by studying the mathematics that underpins it. His novel folding techniques have allowed all sort of new designs that were previously thought impossible, in particular have a look at the insects he's done

No sauce please

2007-06-13T14:31:00.000+10:00

No bacon, no beetroot, just the burger in a bun with cheese. And the lettuce and tomato on the side…and no sauce – I prefer to add that myself.

Because burger customisation is a modern consumer’s prerogative. Gone are the days when I would have to wait 20 minutes holding up the well established production line for someone to pluck every pickle slice and dust off the mustard from my Big Mac, nowadays a ‘plain cheeseburger’ is a perfectly acceptable variation. And with such a wide range of options it makes sense that flexibility should be an important ingredient in the recipe for tasty burger success.

So it was with great assurance and furious hunger that I set about ordering my latest burger. Emotions in this particular situation are exacerbated by the heightened sense of anticipation as I watch my companions receiving mouth-watering feasts all around me while I wait patiently in appreciation of the extra time and effort being invested in my minimalist meal. Finally, just when I’m beginning to fear that my stomach rumblings are audible over the DJ’s sound system, mouth watering with a hunger preserved since lunchtime, it appears, plate bursting with sustenance, a veritable dream-burger…Play it cool, marvel at the creativity of the square bun, slowly munch a chip or two (too much salt, but that doesn’t matter), and then one big happy bite…

…And that turned out to be the only bite I could take. I could almost feel my digestive juices sighing and trudging back to their hidi-holes as the rapture became repulsion.

The dimmed lighting and fancy presentation (the square bun not so clever now) couldn’t distract from the glaring molecules of blood-infused pinkness staring up at me from the meat patty.

In adapting the prescribed burger on the menu in suede bar (http://www.suedebar.com) to my own peculiar tastes I must’ve upset the chef… with all my individual specifications I never thought I would need to state a requirement for the burger to be actually cooked!

The surrounding empty plates suggested that others’ burger-eating experiences hadn’t been quite so traumatic (and provided a useful outlet for redistribution of my inedible leftovers (didn’t want this crazy chef to think that I hadn’t enjoyed his effort!)).

And although the taste could be washed away by the remedial qualities of Corona, the psychological scars remain. It’ll be at least a week of chicken nuggets and cheese toasties before I’m back on the burger wagon…

Come back soon

2007-05-28T16:07:00.000+10:00

From wikipedia:

Some species and/or populations of cranes migrate over long distances, while some do not migrate at all

Seems we got the migrating type cause we had our last weekend of surf with Joeleee before he heads to the big apple. Dub, Sergio, Dre, Niko and I join him down the west side to find perfect offshore breezes, reasonable sized sets and unreasonably large crowds. Jan Juc is dumping everywhere except the spot reserved for the surf comp so we head out at Torquay with 42 other mofo's (yes I counted, and that is just the folks out the back!) on the incoming tide for some chaotic surf action. By the time each set arrives, everyone is so antsy that they're 5-6 strong on each wave and running over each with desperate abandon. Fortunately we can perch in the middle and catch some glorious reform that keeps us satisfied. Anyway, who needs strangers to run you over when you've got perfectly good mates? :) Dub gives Joeleee a goodbye nudge and I give it a try too but narrowly miss him (I'll get you next time gadget). Beautiful autumn day to bid Dave adieu and with the sun setting over the Torquay surf club and the tide filling in we call it a day. It was hard to be certain from the hill (because Dave is made from approx 292131000 cubic kilometers of salt water) but I'm sure I saw the bogan wave god shed a tear.

I've added an "eternal" flame that will burn until our next burger posse surf trip (I think we drunkenly agreed spain or portugal last night yeah??). Can't wait!

See you soon I hope mate

More the merrier

2007-05-21T12:15:00.000+10:00

Saturday saw a massive, 9 strong surf trip (if you count Luca, and we do) down the west coast. Continuing the inverse relationship between ocean temp and surf posse members that I have been observing... Odd. Anyway, Torquay has some lovely size rolling in and both the breaks are working so in we jump for a frantic 30min of green and paddling. Alas the tides have caught us out again as the beach slowly fills. Even the 4-5ft of swell can't manage to heave itself into a wave except at a distance of 3cm from the shore. Dave[god] dammit! We all give it a try anyway as the occasional freak sets are still rideable, and quite revealing. It seems that Joeleee has been cagey about his mad surfing skillz all these months. He is actually a big wave master (!) and nails a couple of mighty stonkers much to the delight of us watching from the beach.

For lunch we head to Spooner's and devour a hearty round of tasty burgers courtesy of the angry bald guy (the treasonous caesar salad eater shall remain secret for fear of burger hate crime). Then Luca shows us all his party trick by cooking an assburger in his pants, and at that point we decide it would be a good idea to head home. Another great Saturday out (3rd straight and counting) and promises of another one this weekend to bid farewell from Dave to the Crane.

Happy Birthday to us

2007-05-14T23:25:00.000+10:00

Wow! Two whole years of blogging and a hundred odd surf trips between us.... and we still got mashed last Saturday, heh. Joeleee, Zombie, Dre and I head down to 13th beach and from our first vantage point about 2km's west of Barwon the day was looking disappointingly small. Only a couple of blokes out and just bobbing around optimistically, but drive up the far end of the beach and it's a different story. There are massive freight trains rolling in, just ready to smush you on the rocks but in the gaps between them there are very ridable left and right handers along the length of the beach. Zombie heads confidently out the back but after catching a couple of massive closeouts he joins the rest of us in the white wash near the shore. Quite a lot of fun in the end apart from the brief moment when we drifted onto the rocks where my board was eaten by a sucking black hole in the shore before being spat 6" into the air... lucky! Well worth the drive and cured Joeleee of the hangover, plus rinsed us clean like a giant washer. A trip down memory lane for dinner with a visit to Ripper Roast and a remarkably tasty dinner, surprised us all that we don't get there more often. more this weekend as Joeleee has only 2 weekends left! got to find a wave *somewhere*

I caught my first tube today... Sir

2007-05-09T14:55:00.000+10:00

Finally we get a surf after more than a month of swell-less, booked up or hungover weekends! Last Saturday we collect the whole crew of Zombie, Sergio, Dub, Joeleee and myself plus a few honourary members; Dre, Tarecq and Merla. Torquay is pumping with consistant 3-5ft swell and after an intial false-start/attempted-drowning of Andreas we split into a few white water warriors and the rest out the back. Apart from a window of very full tide in the early arvo there are heaps of waves on offer so it is hard to keep track of everyone. I gather from all the smiles, thumbs up and tired arms that we all have a generally good day with a special mention to Tarecq for catching the biggest frothing mutha on his first time out! My own first two waves were my best ever (!) but after that it was all downhill culminating in wipe-out of the day which no doubt left my head slightly more asymmetric than before. No time for tasty burgers as I have to drop a to-remain-nameless surfer back in time for the opera. Great way to say to get reacquainted with Dave(TBWG) and looking positive for more of the same this weekend!

Catch-up

2007-05-09T14:44:00.000+10:00

Ummm excuses excuses, why haven't we updated? Been really busy? [too ambiguous] abducted by aliens? [too mundane] convicted of donut theft during a recent visit to northern Nigeria and had my fingers chopped off under sharia law so I am typing this with my nose? [too political]

We *were* quite busy and we haven't surfed much so see below for things that did happen in the last month

Overland track:

The whole tasty posse plus 6 make an epic trek through the heart of Tasmania, in the process pioneering a new pass from east to west and uncovering valuable fur trading routes… Ok so it's been walked for the past 70 years and is "attempted" by approx 8,000 walkers each year, but that doesn't make the Overland Track any less spectacular. Add in the 6 days of clear sunny weather and great company and you have a once in a lifetime experience. See some pics here

Overland Track burger:

After 6 days of hiking and mostly eating scroggin you are collected by a little ferry for the zip across Lake St Clair to the finishing visitor centre. Imagine our delight when we discovered that they serve beer and burgers! No surprises that as the first real meal in 6 days we rate it an extraordinarily biased 'Tasty'!

Northside Grill'd:

Implementing step 2 in their plan to conqueur the world [it's a pretty slow plan], Grill'd have opened a franchise on Brunswick St. Serge and I stop in to check it out and enjoy a tasty burger. Of course the menu is the same as the St Kilda one, but it isn't as busy (northside folks don't do many burgers I suppose) and we get another pin in the map. One's opinion would understandably be a whole lot different if one had lived next to the place and had to breathe their stinky exhaust 24/7 (nods at Merla, see post above)

Friday Fun:

Somewhere in early April Zombie and I managed a cheeky early Friday morning surf. In typical Stubbs fashion, when I call him at 6am in the dark he is already most of the way to Torquay (!) but eventually I join him there for the last genuinely hot day of 2007 I can recall. Apparently no one in Torquay is gainfully employed, because there is no mass exodus at 8.30am on a weekeday, or maybe I'm deceived by all the retirees on 10ft mals who keep catching them from out the back. Bslim pickings for the first couple of hours but by mid morning the tide has filled in that special way that only Torquay knows how, and the secret second break is pumping from next to the reef. Lots of green and lots of pleasure taken in the knowledge that everyone else I know is at work!

Immigration: the human cost

2007-03-28T11:06:00.000+10:00

funny

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/immigration_the_human_cost

tasty summer water shots

2007-03-13T01:05:00.000+11:00

Here, finally, is the collection of the analog aqua shots taken between Dec 06 and Feb 07

Zombie works it on Glovey's ride

Zombie take on Nirvana

Zombie Jr learns to surf

Glovey lessons

word

looks like Jolee & Glov

Jol

look out Kelly Slater

Hunger vs taste

2007-03-12T15:25:00.000+11:00

On the weekend I was again faced with the same dilemma of whether a 'tasty' call is valid when the taster is immensely hungry. Whether it was the 4.30am start to fly to Hobart or the 4 games of ultimate, the dodgy pub chicken burger at Customs House *seemed* tasty in spite of the (only now obvious) lacklustre ingredients and flavour. I'll go with hindsight here and give this a Not Tasty or else one day i'll get really hungry, eat a plain piece of bread and have to blog it excitedly because of the precedent.

Tolarno redux? not worth it

2007-03-12T15:18:00.000+11:00

One from our roving reporter Joeleee:

had a huey burger on fri nite and sat right next to the guy and talked his ear off about how much the burger meant to certain people etc. then, much to his pleasure, i went on a rant about what a crap experience i had at the new place - overpriced melbourne standard food on oversized white plates, and that the outfit looked too sterile and was full of old folks. all true, but of course i over emphasised it for his entertainment. all he could mumble was how they're charging 8.50 for a VB and the st kildans will laugh them out of the joint. in terms of review, tasty enough, but certainly not worth the bill - avoid

Cows might fly

2007-03-12T15:13:00.000+11:00

Late updates, but important for any readers heading to Wilson's Prom. Estee and I were there two weeks ago, and apart from the sparkling white beaches and the gentle clean waves (that we had to ourselves for a whole morning), there is also a stunning burger joint to be found in Fish Creek. On previous trips we'd made do with tasty grease burgers from the petrol station, but even a cursory glance around that corner would have revealed a little bit of paradise called the Flying Cow Café. They have a lush green garden out the back that you can sit in while you eat your open style burger! Home-made patty, fresh fillings and ability to mix and match a bit with what you want to eat. A pleasant surprise for the hungry traveller and definite tasty burger.

Debbie (and crew) does (do) Phillip Island

2007-02-22T17:02:00.000+11:00

A rare offshore prediction for the island combined with decent swell made a trip out of Melbourne particularly appealing last weekend. So when Deb offered up the family mansion on the local beach we were all down there on friday night faster than you could say "freeloaders". Pistol, Joeleee and Sergio scoot out of town so quick they even manage a surf on the Friday arvo which was, by all accounts, amazing. These tales of reforming reform spin through my green dreams and on Sunday we resolve to hunt down more of the same but minus Dub who is sorely under the weather.

As you might expect on a 38deg surf friendly day, smith's is packed to the gills and even the back beach is pretty full. What's more, there are a million people sitting hopefully in a millpond! "Stuff that" we say and roll to Forest Caves to find a crowded carpark and lots of swell. Out we rush to grab some green, and indeed we do, until the freak sets start to roll in. One minute you'd be paddling happily near the take off point, the next you'd be getting rumbled by a set of 3 massive freight trains that suck you under until your last ounce of breathe is running out. Lovely… I am briefly side lined by an unfortunate incident involving the squashing of my private parts by my own board (don't ask...) but soon we all head out again spouting such optimism as, "It looks to have died down a bit". Nothing could be further from the truth and this is brutally illustrated when the biggest set of the whole day rumbles in and leaves poor Joeleee with only half a board. Yes! That massive mofo snapped it clean in half leaving Joeleee a desperate body board to the beach on the remaining stump while a friendly fellow surfer collected the runaway tip from out the back. Ouch.

Now I don't know if Dave (the bogan wave god) codes, and if he does I don't know if he codes in Visual Basic, but I would summarise Saturday's surf thus:

Dim numbroken As Integer = 0
Dim mashage As Integer = 0
Do Until mashage >= 30
If Ocean.Swell.PhillipIsland.ForestCaves.Wave >= 8ft Then
Mash(BurgerPosse)
mashage = mashage + 1
End If
If Ocean.Swell.PhillipIsland.ForestCaves.Wave > 10ft Then
TryToKill(Joeleee)
numbroken = numbroken + 1
End If
Loop
MsgBox("You have broken " & CStr(numbroken) & " board/s! Yowser!")

We spend the rest of the day splashing/recovering in the water on the safe bay side and playing a fun card game called "Apples something something Apples". Plus for dinner Dubbie (Dub and Debbie) cooks us round 3 of the great burger-off. In an attempt to soften up the judges, all ten of us are showered with 2 delicious seafood entrees, chilly prawns and freshly caught abalone! As for the main event, imagine if you can, spicy lamb patties (completely valid patty choice we concluded), beets, tomato, lettuce and a sauce with feta in it. A unanimous verdict from the biggest panel of critics we'd yet had at a burger event, that's a tasty dubbie burger! One girl even ate it sans bun and it was *still* tasty!

Sunday is just as scorching, maybe more, so we head down to smith's back beach to have a dip and the girls all have a crack at surfing, proving to be remarkably adept and, judging from esther's query on board prices, potential competition for waves. Truth be told, I am also very happy catching the 2ft beach break after the size of the previous day. We even sneak in a cheeky burger at Trace's Place on the way back through San Remo arriving just in time to watch Melbourne Victory win the A-League grand final 6-0! What a thoroughly splendid weekend.

Good Vibrations vendor makes a mean vegie (wrap) burger

2007-02-11T20:46:00.000+11:00

Good Vibes. I hear you thinking, you will find some tasty music here but surely not a tasty burger. Sure you can, well a felafel burger anyway, in as much as you could call a wrap a burger.

Noone else tasted this delightful creation after I handed around some wedges in the crowd, having used my intuition and navigation skills to find the crew (senza Glovey and Serge who were MIA out there somewhere) in the dark and the massive crowd of 20,000. I ate this tasty burger (erm wrap) whilst rocking out to Beastie Boys, and basking in the afterglow of J5.

My personal good vibe of the day were the revival grooves in the B-Live tent. Nothing is better than when the inner Zombie finds himself to remixes of AC/DC and Public Enemy.

Spiders on drugs

2007-02-07T02:26:00.000+11:00

nothing to do with burgers or surfing, but funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Brush with fame

2007-02-05T17:25:00.000+11:00

Ok, so I know that Barney Allen's has been blogged before and I know that between the group of us we've consumed a fair few Tolarno burgers, but last Thursday was special. Burger rookie Dave and I head there for a pre-reggae TB and while we are eating we spy none other than Huey himself, sitting at the bar and pondering life (new burger recipes?) over a glass of red.

I figure it would be fun to get something signed and let him know how tasty we find his burgers, the exchange goes thusly:

ME: Hey Huey, sorry to bother you

HUEY: No worries, what's up

ME: Just wanted to let you know that a group of us run something like a burger club and we've got Tolarno as the grail of all burgers. Was wondering if you'd mind signing something for us?

HUEY: [sounding peeved] Well if you like it so much why don't you get *them* to sign it for you…

{uh oh, what's gone wrong here?}

ME: [confused] It's just that I thought you designed the burger?

HUEY: What are you talking about?

ME: the *tolarno* burger?

HUEY: *Oh* no worries then [whips the coaster from my hand and is already reaching for a pen] I thought you meant Ciccinoto (sp?) burger, the guys down the road

{I'm not sure who ciccinoto is, or if that is even the right name, but seems Huey is a bit jumpy}

ME: [while he is signing] No way! I don't know who that is, but I wouldn't compliment someone else's burger then ask you to sign something [awkward laugh from me]

HUEY: You'd be surprised, last Friday a young bloke came to see me about a job as a chef and I asked him why he wanted to be a chef and he said, "To be like Jamie Oliver", Geez, I told him next time someone asks you that, you say "To be like Iain Hewitson"!

ME: Word Huey, you owned that mofo [or maybe I just scurried off, I don't remember]

So that is how we came to have my beer coaster signed by the tastiest tasty burger creator himself. I was too flustered from almost pissing him off to think of anything clever for him to write on it.

It's all coming back... coming back to me know...

2007-02-01T15:45:00.000+11:00

Indistinct foggy people catching hazy distant waves…. That's all that's left in my rapidly-getting-afflicted-with-Alzheimer's mind of the last two weekends surf. Got to get onto this blogging business sooner! Taking a stab I will hesitantly record that Joeleee, Dub, Dre, Joeleee's little sis and myself most likely went to Phillip island two weeks ago. We probably went to Smith's Beach to escape the wind and it was probably so chockers with groms that you couldn't even find a park. Luckily for us we would have known about Smith's backbeach, a place around the corner that the hoards were ignorant of and even more luckily it would have been going orf. I just bet that we all caught heaps of great green and Dre even managed to master that surfing fundamental "standing up".

Last Friday is not that far gone so I'll leave off on the vague, afflicted prose. Dre and I head down the west side to catch massive massive tubes, Zombie informs us that aforementioned gigantic tubes are rolling into Ocean Grove left right and centre where he is convalescing with Millhouse and Luca after the crazy Aussie Day traffic of Geelong. Rushing to the OG we find 2ft of swell and 3000 kids on bodyboards… hmm. But that doesn't stop us! Soon enough we're out the back and enjoying as many brief rides as we can paddle back out for or for those inclined, stand in the white water for. It turns out much better than we'd thought and with a sandwich stop in Barwon Heads on the way home (no tasty burgers on a public holiday!), an all in all fun day in the sun.

Hampton Burger

2007-01-28T22:10:00.000+11:00

Firstly a disclaimer: this was NOT a practice burger for Dub, OK?

Zombie and crew descended on Deb's palace for dinner and Dub put his hand up to present a very classy burger. Lamb patties with some secret herbs and spices, innovative use of the eggplant, tzatziki a and freshies all came together for a burger which I will describe as TASTY.

MmmHmm That's a Tasty Piece of Art

2007-01-21T16:32:00.000+11:00

So, finished the entry for the Linden postcard exhibit and delivered it today. The gallery will be showing it from 3rd Feb until 17 March at 26 Acland St, St Kilda. If you go there on the day of the St Kilda festival (11th Feb) then they have live bands and beers in the front garden. Try and check it out as it looks more striking in real life, plus the 1500-odd other entries are often fantastic!

don't call me whiting, blogger!

2007-01-13T21:08:00.000+11:00

The crew got back together for the first all-in day for 07.

Really nice day at Jan Juc but 20 knots onshore and a surf comp in the choice takeoff didn't really make for perfect conditions. Dub revelled as expected. Glov and Serge put in a nice late effort. Jol's day was cut a little short by a visit to the surf skool to see how sis Liz was going (swimmingly by all accounts) Zombie was out of action but took some shots from the latest Jan Juc expedition below. Will let these do the talking.

Post-surf burgers were at the Jan Juc Fish & Chipper, providing some tasty fish burgers -- probably worth the half-hour wait. And remember, whiting may be small but they sure is tasty!

Kermonds Hamburger Warrnambool

2007-01-02T21:53:00.000+11:00

The original Warrnambool Hamburger.

Burgers tested: Burger with the lot x 2, Junior Burger with cheese x 1

Rating: Very, Very Tasty

Ambience: original 50's, neon sign, white uniforms, nativity scene with freaky green party light halo

Ock Aye!

2006-12-18T20:18:00.000+11:00

So from wikipedia:

St Andrew is the patron saint of Scotland, Greece, Russia, Romania, Amalfi, and Luqa - Malta...he had been a disciple of John the Baptist and he was the first disciple of Jesus

Are we sure this is the same guy? Cause last Saturday Dub, Joeleee and I go visit St Andrew's beach on the Mornington Peninsula where we meet the patron saint of major mashage who is obviously self proclaimed disciple of Dave. The sea was angry that day, my friends. We all variously scare ourselves or get rumbled in the wash for about an hour, one minute you are bobbing nervously in the pack, the next, sucked under by a massive freight train (toot toot!).

Displaying our innate and animal desire to live, we move down the beach to a quieter spot and sure enough, it's just magic. Lots of loooong rides in all directions and hardly a soul about. If only we had more arms left from the first attempt! We drink our fill from the fountain of Dave then beat a hasty retreat over the scorching sands (did i mention is 41 degrees that day?!). The grub in Rye is a bit rough but after such a big day i can't recall being too fussed and to finish off Joeleee does the honours with a big effort to stay awake for the return trip. Thenk ye!

Now, junior, behave yourself

2006-12-05T19:18:00.000+11:00

Another late one! So last Monday I meet my mate Katya for a desired tasty burger. We head over to Bad Boy Burgers in Richmond. This place has gotten a good rap on some other (inferior) burger sites and certainly makes some big claims on the website...

Bad Boy is different. It’s a club of enthusiasts, dedicated to producing THE perfect burger

On the day that i visit, this club consists of 3 disinterested looking kids getting minimum wage to run an empty burger shop, but hey, it is a monday night and who knows, maybe they are deep in thought pondering the intricacies of the burger?

I take the self titled Bad Boy Burger with bacon, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, caramelised onion, tomato relish, Dijon mayo and an extra of egg, but with 16 others to choose from including 4 vegie options (zombie!) don't feel like you have to follow my lead.

Buns are a bit flakey and egg was a bad choice yet the Bad Boy scores a resounding Tasty nonetheless. Lots of good relish and the onion is super sweet in the mix. Highly recommended for anyone on the east side who's a bit tired of phở gà.

Don't mind the pic of Mac D carnage below, safe to say the thrower did not find it tasty... respect!

Burger Edge St Kilda Rd

2006-12-05T13:26:00.000+11:00

Some of you will be surprised to hear of me even walking into a burger edge after my brush with death a year ago. But its a desparate state of affairs in St Kilda Rd. Burger Edge opened yesterday and they have an opening special of $5 burgers.

Some of you may also recall my pledge to blog vege burgers from now on so you are probably wondering why I am about to blog the slab-of-dead-cow steak burger. I ordered the "pulse" burger and 15 minutes later picked up an "okker" burger: perhaps there was someone else in the queue called Matt. I walked 200 metres back to my office so buggered if I was going to go back, and anyway why don't they just tell you the freaking order number? Let's call it first week teething problems.

The best thing about the 15 minute wait was finding two disc players working in the office across the road, so lunchtime disc is "on" for summer.

The funniest thing about the wait was the huge poster with angry looking people saying "the taste is worth the wait". Which could be true if you are into surprises.

The steak to be honest was a bit gristly, turkish bun was nice, tomatoes ok, aioli ok, chips fantastic. I will score it a Not tasty (yet anyway): they may get things sorted out but have a way to go.

STZ

Plus we had a houseparty last friday:

2006-12-04T15:27:00.000+11:00

Big bowl of punch - $65
Assorted soft cheeses - $17
Dancing around your backyard wearing a colander on your head - priceless

wish we took photos :)

Lockie

Scup (noun): a type of porgy

2006-12-04T14:22:00.000+11:00

Not content with just west side surf, I cheekily double down with an east side surf trip as well. This time joined by Sergio, Dub and surfer chick Estee. For no apparent reason, nearly every caravan park in phillip island is booked out but we luckily find a spot just outside of Cowes at what turns out to be the boganest campground ever. Was it the hordes of blokes arriving in V8 utes? Or the 30yo chav with the backwards cap who kept circling the place on a too small bmx with a mean stare? Or maybe it was those guys who kept duelling on those damn banjos?… but it certainly felt odd. No matter, we head into Cowes proper to check out their massive (read: very very small) street market, eat some grub and get sergio jacked on wine and coffee (we should have kept a closer eye on the caffeine). I submit as evidence, photo A.

A fun game of 'dictionary' (or was it the half bottle of tequila?) leaves us ready to wake up and find…. Wind affected swell. Doh! So we drive round the far side of Smith's to find lots of size, not too much wind and a long rocky beach reminiscent of Darby. Out the back there is some huge dumpers. Pistol grabs some white, Sergio grabs hold of his board for some last minute turtles, I grab a mixture of green/head-first-mashage and Estee catches some feeble rays. Lots of fun and the perfect prelude to a tasty burger at Trace's Place. Grand!

Lockie

Dirty Surf

2006-12-04T14:21:00.000+11:00

From the state of the blog you'd think we'd been sitting on our collective asses but in fact there's been all sorts of surf action. First was the dirty type a week ago with Zombie, Joeleee and myself heading down to Jan Juc following a big evening of Pigeon "Do the pigeon" John and Lyrics "Spirit fingers" Born. Greeting our smoke irritated eyes was a choppy beach with only one short break and a remarkably large number of groms milling all around it. Out we go and soon find that there is a sizeable swell rolling in but just a tad too many short boarders ready to run you over. If I had my way, kids would spend school holidays in the uranium mines keeping our economy growing dammit. "Pappa I think I got the glowing green lung…"

Zombie catches a bunch from way out the back but Joeleee and I don’t exactly own the break. So we pack up camp and head to Torquay to find…. nothing. There is a bloke on a ten footer and even he is struggling to catch anything. There is only the occasional set, which is less of a 'set' and more like a single wave called Tiny Tim that only visits every ten minutes. But the paddling is a laugh and this works out fine as we grab the water proof camera and take a bunch of pics of us riding 3 wide and a few action shots close to shore. We'll post them once we finish the film. Lunch is a tasty travesty, eating sushi from the previously unexplored Torquay village.

Lockie

Tat Burger

2006-11-27T07:48:00.000+11:00

Up in Tatura for my nephew's christening, millhouse and I rediscovered the backyard barbie burger in Tatura. Tireless time was the undisputed master of BBQ, the engine room of any good burger.

No mucking about, this burger cut straight to the chase with only the Aussie ingredients you know you want: pineapple, beetroot, coleslaw. Alongside a Boags this was a very tasty burger. Sorry no grid reference for this one as it was sadly the last backyard BBQ we will have in Tat... sniff! STZ

quadruple bypass burger

2006-11-20T23:26:00.000+11:00

A Hamburger To Die For. http://www.heartattackgrill.com/

Customers who have room for more can also order French fries "fried in pure lard" and can purchase cigarettes off the menu. As a courtesy, the restaurant offers its "best customers" a wheelchair service to their cars by waitresses dressed in slinky nurses' outfits.

From the ashes of Tolarno rises... Barney Allen's

2006-11-13T20:58:00.000+11:00

The painted red walls, framed versions of Tolarno's old frescoes, several familiar faces, the barrel, and Elvis Costello in the background were there when Zombie and Dub walked into Barney Allen's - Iain Hewitson's new joint on Fitzroy St, St Kilda, next door to the Pelican. The man himself was at the bar, with an evil glint in his eye. We looked at the menu and a few seconds of scanning told us all we needed to know.

THE TOLARNO BURGER HAS RETURNED!

The bun has changed somewhat - now wider and lighter than before. It's a lot easier to get through so you will be able to walk rather than waddle away at the end of the experience. However, make no mistake friends, this burger is every bit as good as the original.

It's been a few long wintry months since this burger was last seen around these parts but the minute's silence given at the St Kilda charity cup has proven to be premature.

Verdict : VERY VERY TASTY

überburger

2006-11-09T04:41:00.000+11:00

I put my body on the line on a regular basis for this blog. I would be a vegetarian if I wasn't blogging burgers, and I know what you are thinking: just blog vege burgers. Yes, I thought of that and may yet go that way and almost did this time but didn't. I don't want to bring you down with my life issues but lately my reviews seem to be a solo effort which of course is never quite as much fun but.. (Neal voice) "oh sorry, I'm bringing you down aren't I".

überburger in Time Square, Singapore is next door to the Very popular and always full Paulaner brewery. Just this once I walked past the waiting crowd and directly into a booth at this designer joint. I was hoping to blend in but a bit hard when you are some eccentric grey-haired Aussie poking a camera into every corner of the place. Apart from some quasi-industrial architecture they did have Champions League going on several large LCD screens which saves me the embarrasment of reading my placemat all night and a great comeback from Chelsea against Barca in the end.

I asked for the Wagyu burger (S$32) but that wasn't available so did I want the ($101) Wagyu steak? No, I'll go for the S$29 "übmonster colossal 250g chopped sirloin with emmenthaler cheese, hickory sauce, bacon, crispy salad + vine-riped tomato obscene buck of fries" thanks. No problem.

Whilst waiting I observe the burger flipping Indian lads in their ventilated fishtank, the conveyer delivery system from the fishtank to front counter, the Warhol-styled art and hanging industrial chain.

My 1 litre of happy hour Hoegaarden arrives then the fries in an actual steel bucket. Feeling better by this point.

Next is my übmonster which I will rate as tasty, beef nice enough, nice presentation. No problem at all. By this stage very full and I decline the "sweet burger mini donut with chocolate ice cream, fresh mango, strawberries & kiwi in the form of a burger". Noting that the Chelsea v Barca game is finished and I am now watching the PLC Levski Sofia goalie give away a shocking own-goal to Werder Bremen I pay the bill and go.

What am I trying to say? I think this was a good burger and trying very hard (perhaps a bit too hard) to create a unique experience in a competitive market. That said I would go back next time with friends and enjoy the happy hour. Next time I'll try the vege burger.

Not that kind of weed...

2006-11-07T18:44:00.000+11:00

No burgers and no surfing in this one, but we're ready for a party now Dave.... give us a few weeks for some warmer weather.

Lockie & Sergio

Rrrrrubbish

2006-11-06T16:52:00.000+11:00

Post heading refers to the crummy surf conditions that Dave has laid on for the long weekend, seems like he may be colluding with the spring racing carnival to dissuade surfing punters? So without any tasty waves to blog, I've dug out some pics from an improvised middle-eastern burger Sergio and I concocted a few weeks ago. Reminiscent of George's Marvelous Medicine, I couldn't tell you what was in the patties; except to say that it was a random mix of morrocan spices found above our stove. Rather pungent while cooking it all turned out damn tasty in the end, but note in the final photo that I let Serge have first bite ... just in case.

Lockie

Froth it up mon

2006-10-31T13:05:00.000+11:00

See the photo? See that smooth corduroy action? Well now imagine the opposite of that, with froth flying everywhere and waves breaking in all directions; that was the unfortunate reality we were met with on Sat morning when Dub, Joeleee and myself ventured down the west coast. Then to top it off it hailed on us, sideways. Arseburger! Taking shelter in the barbie enclosure, Dub was warming his hands on the free electric hotplates (thanks Torquay council!) when all of a sudden the clouds cleared out and the wind dropped right down. I can only guess that all the hand clenching got mistaken by Dave as prayer? Saint Dub anyone?

The early miserable conditions had done wonders for the crowds. Apart from a few unhappy looking euro backpackers learning the ropes we're the only guys out there for most of the arvo! You know what that means, plenty of waves and plenty of reform green near the shore. Joeleee and I learn the hard way not to get greedy on the shore break as the 5ft swell is prone to jack up quick and put you down hard on your head, but apart from that we are lords of Torquay. Again and again we take the protected reef route out then let the rip wash us back along the beach into the takeoff zone. Zombie would have laughed (cried?) if he saw the conditions but in the end it was us who had the last chuckle, the WW motto of "ride everything" saving a fun day. Back to the newly discovered Spooner's, now christened "Miserable ballad café", for some not so tasty background music but some fortunately tasty burgers.

Lockie

the connection between dave, noosa and a cup of tea

2006-10-30T19:39:00.000+11:00

i bet Dave drinks earl grey

Another fantastic break in Noosa goes by, thought you may be also interested in the various postings from the week.

Sunshine

Wind

waves takeaway burger peregian beach

2006-10-26T17:29:00.000+10:00

Waves Takeaway in Peregian Beach recently changed management. Mum reports that the new staff are much nicer than the old staff but the milk is more expensive than before, so she buys hers from the greengrocer now.

However the Yellow Pages suggested this was the most likely spot for me to find a tasty burger anywhere between Coolum and Noosa, so I thought I would give it a go. I chose the "Works" for $7.50 and a chocolate milkshake. When asked whether I wanted pineapple, I said "yes". When asked what sauce, without hesitation I gave the answer "BBQ".

I will put it out there. The Waves burger is on the same tier as Andrew's, made with far more care and attention than you will get in Albert Park, and delivered to your plastic table outside. It ticked all the boxes for a genuine old school burger as you can see. Perhaps the patty could have been just slightly meatier but we are talking just fractions of points here. I give this one an emphatic two-handed TASTY. STZ.

PS Luca loved the chocolate milkshake, didn't leave me much.

i wonder what happened to betty's burgers

2006-10-26T10:39:00.000+10:00

OK I can take a hint, you wanted to know about burgers in noosa. Well I have started my investigations and sorry to say so far a bit sad. As it happens there was an iconic place here called Betty's Burgers, as described by elder Stubbsie in 2002:

Neither a restaurant or a cafe, Betty’s Burgers are a local icon. Betty has been “serving Noosa since 1978” with burgers that are cheap as chips. Betty was in Hastings Street until she fell victim to progress and was banished to the Noosa Woods (near the first rock wall.)

Sorry to say that there is no sign of Betty these days, the last reference I saw was in this article from the ABC, explaining in 2002 that she had a one year licence to sell burgers out of a van. The closest thing to a van now is Bill's coffee beach 4wd thingie but not a burger to be seen.

Don't get me started on burger edge which has moved in to the soulless apartment block that was build where Betty once served her $1 burgers. You know where I stand on that franchise.

I have a couple of contemporary leads that I am following up so don't despair yet.

Zombie

2006-10-25T09:47:00.000+10:00

Burger Restriction at Pit Stop

2006-10-24T22:04:00.003+10:00

"This New York style burger is unhealthy, and I am restricting you from eating it"

"No - it is an Acland St's. Pit-Stop Burgers, one of the finest that St Kilda has to offer. And it is particularly tasty, given the time of evening. In fact, you'll not find anything tastier"

WWZ

2006-10-24T11:12:00.000+10:00

Decided to go out at Peregian this morning to annoint myself as a whitewater specialist. I was bored with the champagne and corduroy at Noosa. Actually I am too lazy to get in the car as can carry Mal down the hill.

WWP would have wet himself this morning: never seen so much foam.

Will have another look at Noosa this arvo but meanwhile here is our local Kookaburra..

urban burger

2006-10-24T10:27:00.000+10:00

This is another catch up blog to support the google flag. I don't think we blogged this before (?). Urban burger in Richmond was definitely tasty when I visited some months ago. A modern burger with paper bags and the groovy modern condiments you have come to expect. I had a mini burger on the way to the corner for a gig. They have an article on the wall promoting the fact that their burger with the fancy Japanese beef is 10x cheaper than some posh restaurant -- didn't try that one though to hard to say is the claim is worthwhile.

burger forum

2006-10-24T10:05:00.000+10:00

Whilst googling I noticed this forum on burgers, quite a few that we haven't rated. Have ewes seen this?

http://livechat.inthemix.com.au/forum/showthread.php?p=241167

Heathcote Redux!

2006-10-21T17:15:00.000+10:00

Suddenly a mysterious blog about the famous Heathcote Burger appeared from behind a bush, surprising everybody with its ingenious simplicity.

The sign outside the Green Frog Milk Bar in Heathcote said:

So after a walk through the old mine workings, Joel-eee and Dub decide to try it. The milkbar has been a feature of Heathcote for many years. Most probably since about 1531AD when it first started serving meat and onion 'shandwyches' to the hungry farmers after a long day in the fields.

Since those early years, the milkbar has changed very little, except that the fare has transformed into a very tasty burger with all the modern additions. These days you'll find few farmhands in the cafe, but plenty of hungry customers!

Joel-ee seemed to enjoy the "Heathcote Royale", complete with beetroot:

Get that Tasty Burger down, Joel-eee!

Book of revelations

2006-10-20T15:57:00.000+10:00

First things first, there are *no* burgers in "Burger Rings", I checked the ingredients. On top of that they don't even taste anything vaguely like a burger, let alone a tasty one! There has been some fraudulent marketing from Smiths and we're here to bust this scandal wide open! Be warned people…

This is one of the first ever midweek updates but based on the results of yesterday's (Thursday) expedition there should be plenty more. Dub, myself and Mr X (so named to protect his identity due to the fact he *might* have snuck out of work a tiny bit early) read the charts and come to a realisation that sometimes limiting yourself to Sat/Sun surfs just aint enough. Everything is primed for great conditions but two days before weekend freedom. With a collective "screw that" we point ourselves west side and leave the cube dwellers behind.

First stop Ocean Grove, partly so we could check the surf there, but largely so we could drive past the best church ever, The Wave, which is obviously and undeniably the church of Dave our bogan wave god [pbuh]. Currently there are a bunch of tech savvy baptists (be sure to enter their site and check out their random forum topics and blogs) using the joint and praying to some guy called JC(?!?), but once we school em in the might of Dave they will no doubt see the error of their ways. Lucky he is such a friendly god, worst thing that could happen for their false idol worship might be a dumper (even then, only onto sand). Anyway, the church is awesome looking but Dave is punishing the blasphemous occupation by blowing out the actual surf conditions so we retire for sustenance and a rethink.

Onto to Torquay we find an almost empty carpark at low tide and consistent 3-4ft sets rolling in so out we go! Almost immediately we are catching waves left right and centre. So many breaks and so few people it is hard *not* to catch a great wave. In fact X and I both catch our respective best waves ever, long green rides from waaay out the back all the way in, walking forward to catch the reform for a second crack at it then cruising all over the face once more! Dub is killing it as well in perfect WWP conditions, it seems everytime one of us is up and having a look around, another is up on the wave in front. At some point in proceedings we all find ourselves on the shore exhausted and bemoaning the lack of bionic paddling arms… but only briefly until the empty waves call us back out for some more little rights from just off the reef point. Such a sublime day of surfing, big smiles all round and an exhausted happy burger crew. The sun is just starting to set as we roll back home and I could scarcely think of a better way to spend a Thursday. More soon I hope.
Lockie

It's a nice day for a white water wedding...

2006-10-14T18:36:00.000+10:00

Why the title? Partly because we have an early early surf today (8am departure, geez) so that Joeleee can get to an afternoon hitchin' (not his own) and partly because of the froth that we spend the morning taming at Jan Juc. Upon arrival Zombie and Dub seem unusually suicidal and head out at Winki point to mingle with the friendly locals on the sharp reef. Feeling more antisocial JC and I stroll back to the main beach break and discover that there's a whole bunch of fun to be had when the frequent sets roll in. The best spot on the beach is taken by some kind of surf comp but there's still about 25 peeps out either side trying to pick there way through the dumpers. We give that theory a miss and just catch *everything*, closing out or not. Either we ride victorious over the white water or occasionally grab a few seconds of green, lovely. Dub and Zombie come to their senses and join us for more of the same. If Dave sends white then you are going to have to ride it, and we do, all four of us to a wave at a point. A mad dash home for Joeleee just as the wind makes conditions shitey. Great Sat out.

Lockie

The Great Burger Cook-off - Round 2

2006-10-14T17:51:00.000+10:00

This entry is completely out of order but worth posting at this late date lest Joeleee's burger be forgotten. So for those that have been following the saga, we were up to round 2 of the burger cook-off with round one having been more than sufficiently dealt with Messrs C and K and Ms B. Well researched and exactlingly crafted round one scored a unanimous 'tasty'. Joeleee, on the other hand, was stepping up to the plate with a whole lot of talk and a very relaxed attitude to preparation. What's more he'd taken on the ambitious task of having most everyone he knew come over for the barbie... Could this brash young man live up to his own hype? time and tastebuds would (actually 'did') tell.

A simple but healthy red coloured pattie, some seemingly decorative lettuce, quality cheese, unorthodox pineapple and a pellet powered barbie? What was the man thinking? The Basic Burger textbook had gone out the window and i feared we could be playing russian roulette with our mouths (dun dun duhhhhh [ominously]). With a calm demeanour Joeleee cooked the whole lot up, seared the pineapple, laid it all on some crispy white buns and then pulled out the secret CMD (Condiment of massive deliciousness). A home made 'mystery' sauce that gave the whole lot a special zing... in fact one might even say... a tasty zing! yes that's right, again a unanimous tasty verdict! just look at us munch those suckers. Good work JC and cheers to another successful round of burger cooking. The pic above is a large pair of shoes.... the ones that Zombie and MM are going to have to fill come Nov 4th and round 3 hehe ;)

Lockie

PS sorry pistol, was too busy munching missed a shot of you mid burger.

PPS full sets of heathcote and joeleee's barbie here

We have a sympathetic committee

2006-10-14T17:18:00.000+10:00

Based on the fact that at least one of the heathcote party was unfairly represented by the flash photography of previous post I have edited that post to make them look more like they usually do...

And will post a few pics here as well for our audience who might have been wondering, what has happened to the Tasty Burger crew? Too much actual living and having fun and not enough blogging it would seem! It kind of reminds me (but in the opposite way) of this great cartoon I saw once, heh. We're delinquent still on Joeleee's burger comp entry (see next post) AND we went surfing today AND serhio and I made tasty experiemental burgers last night... geez, get typing Lockie!

So last weekend there was the annual Heathcote Food and Wine Festival. We mustered up about 20 people for a camping trip there and had a rollicking good time drinking more shiraz than you could poke a stick at, even a stick with 3 prongs....

no tasty burgers and no surf (stage 2 water restrictions anyone?) but heaps of fun

Heathcote

2006-10-08T22:13:00.000+10:00

Hi, Zombie here. Please feel free to edit this as I don't have many inspirational words and missed the goldmine but just wanted to share a few snaps from Heathcote. Saturday night brought plenty of tasty treats and 70's beats courtesy of my Ten Years of Countdown tape. And my apologies to anyone who didn't know for the first hour that we actually had a CD player as well..

Broulee Burger

2006-10-03T16:37:00.000+10:00

On inter-state assignment on behalf of the Tasty Burger crew, Joel-ee endured a logistical nightmare to get the EOD board through the gates of Canberra International Airport (note the TLA) and hitch a ride in a souped up Scube down to Broulee Beach, just south of Bateman’s Bay for weekend of surf and a few quiet ones.

While the company and pit stops on the way down were suitably dodgy, the accommodation turned out to be a magnificent, not-so-little beach house overlooking Broulee Main Beach and Broulee Island. The walk from porch to waves was small and quick – but unfortunately on this weekend, so were the waves. The beach break clearly contained superb potential for epic conditions – gentle sand slope with at least 2-3 breaks to choose from. However, the small size did not deter the punters. Throughout the weekend, a decent size crew of young and old were to be found bobbing in the 1-2 foot swell, patiently waiting for the rogue 2½ -3 footer to emerge and provide a ride. Cameron O’Neill, (aka Pooffy the man-slayer), the outstanding organiser and happy host, was out for his first surf of 2006, but tackled those waves with the gumption of a South Coast teenager chucking a Mainy on a Friday night – with skill and perseverance. Steve Brown, the finest beer chilling, CEO toppling and coffee-running Canberrian known, provided more than adequate supervision of the picturesque porch.

Personally, I preferred the gentler, less current affected waves of the Main Beach (pictured below, with island in background), but just a few Ks down the road is the South Beach with a breakwater to provide a bit of shelter form its more exposed nature. A word of warning though, there were a couple of local looking grommets who seemed prepared to protect “their” waves and a few “pleasantries” were exchanged with this intrepid traveller.

But were there burgers to be had…. ? Between Canberra and the coast in a town called Braidwood, I went for the chicken burger at the local watering hole, The Mail Hotel, a fairly standard country Australian pub with more TVs and pokies than teeth. Unfortunately, the burger was a pitiful affair, with a slightly grey fillet mashed between brown-ended lettuce and sticky buns – Not Tasty.

Thank goodness for the local Broulee take away shop located in a quaint terrace just across from the Main Beach, specialising in burgers and pizza - I would dare to guess they crank during peak season. While the filling and patty were of average inspiration, they did offer a choice of four different sauces – BBQ, sweet chilli, spicy chilli and standard. Opting for the BBQ, I found it not terribly drippy, which was a mild disappointment, but good flavouring overall. Most importantly, after a 2-surf-session day, the burger was most welcome – Tasty.

Apparently some people also kicked a funny shaped ball around...

2006-10-02T17:47:00.000+10:00

If the melbourne cup is the 'race that stops a nation' then grand final day is the 'game that empties Torquay beach break'. Relying on the Vic obsession for any type of footy final, (even if there hasn't been a victorian team contesting one for years) we head down the sunny west coast to catch emptry waves. 'We' being *almost* the royal 'we' on this occasion as people are either watching The Game (Zombie), managed to catch rickets (Serhio and his painful bones) or just pooped out saving up for a big Sat night (Dubmeister). Thankfully Joeleee shakes off a massive hangover and makes the trip with me.

Our dedication is duly rewarded by Dave who lays on a splendid day of 3 footers rolling in on the incoming tide. After an initial struggle to find my place amongst the longboard riders I find a secret takeoff spot at the second break while Joeleee on the huge 'EOD' mal has no such troubles and can mingle in the pack. Between the two of us, obscene amount of green and also an amount of literal red face due to terrific weather. This is what summer is going to be allll about. We even find a burger joint in Torquay village, right next to the lamentable Soulfuel. I can't remember the name but the staff are super nice and the burgers are super tasty! Herbed patties, big swiss cheese and yummy sauce... how could we have missed it til now?

Spanking day

Lockie

PS photos are not of us, just some gumbies in the wash after we'd finished :)

Pure Lotus, Quanjude and Hooters

2006-09-30T01:05:00.000+10:00

China. Was there anything worthy of burger or Dave-ness? Well no waves at all, the closest I got was SuZhou, known as "Venice of the East". Here you can be serenaded on boats and buy as much tourist booty as you can stuff into cheap plastic bags.

Early on Sunday I found some interesting stuff in Shanghai, notably the "Bund" (riverside area), where all the locals fly their kites and do tai chi. There was some Australian director down there filming a serious cinema flick but I couldn't work out who it was.

To Beijing and the compulsory duck restaurant Quanjude. This was an improvement on Hooters which was the last place we went in Shanghai, just to prove that Chinese girls can act like Texans. I did have a burger there -- not tasty.

Oh, back to Beijing and the duck, not bad - but actually not as flash as the one we had in Smith St, Fitzroy.

Which brings me to Pure Lotus. After a week of duck, pork, chicken feet, duck blood, beef, more pork and generally feeling like the floor of an abattoir -- I asked my vegetarian local colleague where to go.

She sent us to a place called Jingxin Lian which translates as "Pure Lotus". This is the best vege reaturant I have been to, anywhere, ever. Yes, they do the whole textured tofu thing, but flavour and presentation is incredible. They even emulated the Peking Duck experience from the night before. People say that the place is run by a monk, and many of the staff seem to be budhist themselves - their passion really shows.

They also do lots of drinks with yam -- because it is supposed to enhance your manhood or something. I didn't touch the yam juice but I did have the yam dessert which was wicked.

STZ

http://www.happycow.net/reviews.php?id=3934

http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/Asia/China/Beijing_Shi/Beijing-1024960/Restaurants-Beijing-Pure_Lotus_Jing_xin_lian_in_Chinese-BR-1.html

http://www.harrissalat.com/archives/2005/08/fifis_beijing_v.html

The gloves come off

2006-09-27T20:36:00.000+10:00

No. Dub, serhio and I did not have a fight to the death with kippers. Title of this entry merely refers to the wetty gloves that had been the cause of such ruthless jibes as calling moi 'Glovey'... ouch. Vic weather is finally cooperating and the cold now feels like gentle kidney punch compared to the relative kick to the goolies of previous months. Don't throw those booties in the cupboard just yet, but real proper no-kidding spring surfing is just around the corner

The three of us head down to Torquay minus Zombie (who is almost certainly not finding surfage in China) and Joeleee (who has gone to NSW with that exact purpose in mind). Torqs is heaving with every grom and old fella from the greater west coast, leaving barely room to squeeze another 3 boards in, so we don't. Instead the rumbling beach break of Jan Juc beckons and we are soon testing our wave craft, trying to pick the nice left/right break from the majority wipe-out dumpers. We miss a couple and are subject to minor mashage, but occasionally there's gold and at least a few green faces are ridden. How invigorating, how much fun, how had I not been out for a paddle for a whole month? stupid stupid stupid...

The previous weeks F&C shop is again the only place open. Seems the weather knows it's spring but local purveyors of tasty burgers do not. Maybe we're going soft, maybe the grease was laid on exra thick or maybe it was the bevvies the night before but none of us can finish it... is it tasty this time round?... the jury is out. More excitingly we've got the next round of the 2006 Burger-off happening this weekend. There's been hype aplenty from this contender but can he put his burger where his mouth is? (well obviously he can or how would he ever eat burgers... but you know what i mean)

Updates/judgement after the weekend and some NSW stories of sunshine to make us jealous Joeleee?

Lockie

Gripping!!!

2006-09-19T14:35:00.000+10:00

After a fresh stock of toe jam and spiffy new combs at our fav local supplier (Strapper, bro), the Dubster and JC sprinted up the Torquay Hill only to be whelmed by little to no swell and a bunch of foam boards. Knowing we were pressing our luck because of a mild forecast earlier in the day, the 2-man posse cruised over to Jan Juc in hopes there might be something to tame... Hello!! a Junior's tourney obviously knew something about the forecast we didn't as the beach break was pumping 2-4 footers with the odd rogue wave providing enough dumpage and excitement to make Dub say.... "Whoooaaaa Nelly!" Looks can be deceiving - with waves pounding in the first few breaks it looked to be a challenge to break out to the back. But a little Dub-led perseverance and avoiding the bigger sets drew the 2-dude crew out the back with little effort. What that left us was a heap of white water - cue www.DubGrin.com - and/or a few daring attempts at some serious green. JC opted for the mellowed out last-of-the-set small-to mid range and grabbed a decent one or two green like hills, albeit not without a two-fold share of semi-spectacular wipe-outs and missed-ops.

Owing to the vast dearth of tasty burgers in the greater Torquay area, we headed to the Jan Juc village only to be reminded (once again) that the cafe is usually closed and the pub doesn't open until after some other time when we're not there... back to the local Fush n Chups shop. Apparently, we're memorable as the local gezza - lets call him Phil - noted our last visit. Mini chips (not the band) and 2 burgers with the lot and pineapple later, the standard FnC shop burger is quite tasty, although we both struggled at the end owing to runny egg and flimsy buns.

Rating: Tasty

Serendipity

2006-09-15T18:14:00.000+10:00

Today's burger experience comes together almost too nicely (at least initially). I was really tired of the week and happy it was friday, then for lunch we go to a place called Thank God it's Friday! wow! how amazing is that?! ok not so amazing, but i figure if I can find a place called Fucking Hell it's Monday then i have got the week nicely bookended.

So anyway I order the World Famous Mushroom Onion Swiss [cheese] Burger which arrives in a big tower that requires a toothpick to hold its lid on. For you $14 you get tinned mushrooms, *raw* onion rings and a grey meat pattie. Some might blame the lunchtime conversation about vernix (one guy just had a kid), but i blame the offensive burger, definately not tasty! Thank God I'm not going there again........

Lockie

PS someone else please go surfing this weekend while i'm away and write magical stories about endless clean face and before you knew it you'd surfed all the way to Sydney, i'll meet you at Bondi

doin'... cathedral rock

2006-09-03T11:43:00.000+10:00

mm and zombie took a few days off down in Lorne. the forecast was great weather but no surf turning to bad weather but good surf. actually the pulse came in late so wednesday was the day of choice. cruising back up the ocean road on wednesday morning, cathedral rock was the choice: a nice little right hander off the reef still with enough power to make things interesting, and a few local bogans to give the sense that the break was worth arguing about.

thursday was doing the tourist thing but stopped to check out Johanna, since the rest of the coast was flat. this shot is from a little down the road but gives the general idea - lots and lots of rips, no-one out and the "jaws" music playing in my head. mal stayed bolted on sven that day.

friday, bass strait was a lake. went back up to fairhaven for a paddle, an act of pure desparation.

on saturday a rush of sms's from a pack of pikers telling me no go. on the way back stopped in at bells to find the pulse on the way in, actually pretty good. lots of the green stuff, just how mal and i like it.

as i blog its sunday and safely at home -- hope you all dragged yourselves out and not too hammered..

And anyway, what's wrong with Barry Manilow?

2006-08-31T13:36:00.000+10:00

I'm sure that Joeleee and Pistol have already had their grubby little mitts all over an Andrew's Hamburgers hamburger (reread it, it makes sense…) and may have even blogged it, but once again I am a tardy sheep and only just got there last Tuesday. Remarkably old skool in such a 'trendy' area, the shop in Albert Park has been cranking out burgers to the same Pappas family recipe since 1957. A still bustling dining establishment not changing it's menu in almost fifty years takes something pretty special, and in this instance it's the tasty tasty burgers. I opt for 'the lot' with toasted bun, egg, bacon, tomato slice and cheese yet manage to inhale the whole thing before I even get back to the Montague, good stuff Andrew's.

So I guess I owe some kind of apology for hassling wanky southside burgeries, as this place is not pretentious at all. And speaking of modest yet tasty burgers, Joeleee has been teasing us with news of Tolarno reprise again, yet this time it is apparently locked in! Will be Fitzroy St again with timing unknown….but you can be sure that Thatsatastyburger will keep a close Tolarno watch.

Here's some pics of the boys at Andrew's hard at work (where I nicked the one above)

More updates after Saturday's surf

Lockie

PS post #100...

Witness the Fitness

2006-08-21T07:00:00.000+10:00

It's been a long time in the making, and no I'm not talking about Luca, I'm talking about getting the whole surf posse down to Torquay! Waking up variously on Dub's floor or in Joeleee's kitchen after a sleepy friday night we cruise in style down the westside. Swellnet has got it right and there is heaps of size, maybe even a tad too much prompting even Zombie to use the power of white from way out the back. Mendes refines his thang in the shore break before taking a nap (see pic) while Joeleee catches more than anyone from his secret spot by the reef. Lockie and Dub discover the joys of clean green face by catching their best waves ever, boy were they fast! Dub's grin and ensuring hunt for more of the same may require us to give him a new name... let's wait a week or two though. At stumps Luca is the only one not to get wet as Millhouse takes a daring dip in only a springy but soon realises the folly of her ways, it is still damn cold in them thar seas.

Somehow for lunch we drift back to John Butler-ville aka Soulfuel cafe for a huge serving of trans-fatty chips and some very much less than tasty dahl, poopy. [In a Californian governer accent] "We won't be back..." What an unfortunate dearth of decent burger joints there is around Torquay! Not to matter, what a great day out and there was even talk of reviving the Tasty Burger Test Series at Mr and Mrs Zombie's house, any time you want guys!

Lockie

woolamai mashing but whitewater wins out!

2006-08-13T14:02:00.000+10:00

northside crew and southside crew went separately, attempting to meet up in tooradin. lockie said something about being late because he was already halfway to franger -- didn't quite understand that. yours zombie didn't surf but brought the grommit for a laugh.

what i observed from the beach was a LOT of mashing. serge didn't quite make it out at all. lockie pulled stumps early in the piece. MVB (most valued burger) for the day was whitewater, who lived up to his name by getting ride after ride. ashamed to say i did not capture any of the distinctive standing up in the wash action but take my word that it was impressive.

here are some shots from the day in no particular order

Medical breakthroughs

2006-08-10T09:27:00.000+10:00

Apparently last Friday night I rang the surf posse at some inconvenient hour and arranged to go surfing on Sat morning. I say apparently, because the first I knew of it was waking up with the world's worst hangover to take a call to tell me this, also I'd lost my jacket, doh. So from first-hand experience I can tell you that a 6'3 tall person can adequately curl into the foetal position in the front seat of a Saab and that, although the Soulfuel burgers are bollocks, their coffee is a life saver. Travel or mucous has knocked out the rest of the crew so it is just Zombie and myself who turn up at Torquay to find deceptively good conditions and a jostling mosh of longboarders off the reef tip. This suits the Stubbs fine as he rides em from out back while I content myself with either dropping in all over him or picking up the many pieces on the second break. Lovely jubbly! Certainly the rejuvinating powers of a good surf cannot be doubted as new life flows within me and Zombie notes a certain parallel with the intro to the film Big Wednesday. If anyone ever develops an alternative surfology medical treatment I've got dibs here first. Anyhow, we partake of the blasphemous "dirty bird" for lunch and are home in time for nanna naps, nice day out.

Lockie

"I don't wanna be a star. Have my picture in magazines, have a bunch of kids looking up to me. I'm a drunk, Bear, a screw up. I just surf cause its good to go out and ride with your friends"
-- Big Wednesday

Fit for a [roman] king

2006-08-02T19:31:00.000+10:00

It wouldn't be fair to Dave to blog about body surfing 2ft dribbles at Samae beach off Pattaya but seems that no other surfing has eventuated in the last 2 weekends! However I did have a tasty burger in Cooma on the weekend while driving to Perisher to enjoy extraordinarily tasty skiing conditions. Not sure the name of the pub but it's the largest in town about halfway along the main street and had the extra bonus of showing australia get squashed by the all blacks (doh). I took the gimmicky sounding Chicken Caesar but the combo of toasted bun, fresh lettuce, bacon bits, crumbed chicken and caesar sauce was a tasty winner on the night, even if the wallabies weren't...

Lockie

Weather on Saturday mysteriously much like that of Friday, from what I've heard…

2006-07-18T16:51:00.000+10:00

Inspite of all the weather forecasts to the contrary, the newly return-ed prodigal son Joeleee, Dub and I head down to Torquay on *Saturday* to find relatively low wind conditions but still a bit blowy at the local surf beach. Always the perfectionists we decide the cliffs of Jan Juc will give us optimum cover, suit up and head down the stairs and straight into a white frothy battlefield. Liken it if you will to the beach being Lebanon, the waves are Israel giving the beach a good old mashing and we can be innocent civilians getting double mashed in the middle. We can't even get out the back as wave after wave rolls in, I manage it for a brief second but am almost too scared to come back to shore as slow giants keep tumbling in, consuming all lesser surfers in their path (ie us!), yowser. Less than optimistic we head back to the surf beach and lo and behold the wind has died down, there are only 3 others out and the swell is up! The reef once again shelters us from the worst of it and as a result we get heaps of wave, again and again and again rolling the whole way into the beach. What a great day! Swell and Birdrock are both closed but nestled in the middle we find an enthusiastic fish & chip shop that sorts us all out with tasty (yes you read right) burgers with the lot, how delightful.

Lockie

PS special thanks to Hatty's (Hoody's?) bonnet that Glovey appropriated for the day, look how happy i am to wear it

PPS unlikely to get a wave in Thailand's bay but will try and find a burger

Northsyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

2006-07-10T10:47:00.000+10:00

Quick update from last night. Feeling a bit zonked from epic bike ride around Seymour region I find myself at Fitz Café in Brunswick St ordering the namesake Fitz Burger. Definitely not one of those 'fancy' type burgers that you see floating around, this is an old school beef patty, tomato, lettuce, fried onion and egg affair. You're given your own sauce to add (I recommend it) and the patty is strongly flavoured with rosemary and garlic, overall verdict? That's a tasty *north* side burger! Plus a glass of shiraz and a pleasant feeling of exhaustion, hard to beat.

Lockie

Mashed with a capital Joy

2006-07-10T10:43:00.000+10:00

Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're getting the ol' reed cane or a pat on the head from Dave. Were the massive bombs on Sat an attempted punishment for a perceived slight (maybe due to Dub's comsumption of nastee Conehead burger?) or reward for our religious zeal (in valiantly overcoming hardship of said non-tasty burger)? Either way it was a suitably awed gang of Dub, Serhio (Hatty?), Zombie, myself and burger posse rookie Luca that stood on the hill at Torquay and surveyed the majesty of Dave. Very regular sets, not many folk out, offshore winds and lots of size. Not as big as these, but without a jetski&life-vest&15years-of-big-wave-experience, big enough for us. At half tide the reef spit didn't offer much protection from pounding whitewater which made it a struggle to get out the back and even once you were there you'd only find a scared looking line-up bobbing over the 7+ foot lumps, watching alertly for the 9ft rogues that appeared every so often. If you could get one of these, white or otherwise, you were rewarded with a super quick ride all the way in. Dub was lapping it up in the middle, occasionally getting shot up in the air while wearing a huge grin and Serhio in his new bonnet was owning the shore break. Zombie gets the crazy/desperate award for venturing into the vic winter surf in only a rashy to get a last minute wave while I chase the irrepressible Luca (we *got* to get him a tiny board). We all retire for late Ripper Roast lunch and that evening Serhio proves to be a more than apt bean farmer and wallops us at bohnanza. Already anticipating next weekend!

Lockie

Tasty burger drought in St Kilda

2006-07-09T17:00:00.000+10:00

Despite the vacuum created when GBC and Tolarno both exited the scene in the space of about a month, there are still few physical signs of tasty relief around the Fitzroy Street area of St Kilda. For eateries, this area has always been a little more Darwinian than most in Melbourne because of the seasonal trade. Yet even in the coldest months (i.e. now) there are still plenty of punters around to make a profitable peddling of sufficiently tasty burgers.

So Pete ventured out to see what was out there. Two places were sampled: The Esplanade Hotel and Coneheads, both on or around Fitzroy Street.

The Espy has been around for longer than anyone can remember, and has a new kitchen. Their offering is a burger advertised as 'with the lot' + fries. At $15 a pop, this was going to have to be good to justify the price. The fries come with a tasty dipping sauce, but this was rendered unnecessary because the chips seem to have had a kilo of salt dumped on them. Bars like to serve salty food because the punters then feel thirsty and keep buying drinks, which is the business they're really in. Onto the burger itself: this was a standard patty (also salty), cheese, onions, lots of lettuce, tomato and bacon on a standard bun.
Verdict: Tasty but way overpriced - this burger can only be justified if it took a $5 haircut

Coneheads on Fitzroy St have the look and feel of a chain whose main food are cones of takeaway fries. They do a variety of burgers, so I tried the most basic 'with cheese' option at $6.90. What you get is a generic burger with a bland flavour, and afterwards a rancid taste in the roof of your mouth. Most definitely not tasty!
Verdict: Avoid

Here at Tasty Burger we take heart from the rumours of revival of the Tolarno burger somewhere in the neighbourhood - it cannot come too soon.

If you're happy and you know it, ride the froth

2006-07-03T10:16:00.000+10:00

With a depleted burger posse (Joeleee is junketing/working-like-a-bastard around Europe, Serhio is watching the skies in Wadonga and Zombie is laid up with a hangover masquerading as a flu) it is up to Dub and I to make the pilgrimage westside. The guy at the fruit and veg shop informs us that we missed the 10ft barrels at Winki a few days earlier (oh darn…not) and good luck finding a wave. A howling offshore is keeping things flat but with a huge pack of hopefuls at Torquay and only the occasional set to all compete/fight for, it's major head trauma on a stick. Round the corner at Jan Juc it's a different story, the long length of beach has spread everyone out and there is more size in the swell so in we go. There's still a big wait between sets but when they do roll in they're plenty big enough. Dub tames the biggest dumper of the day which arches over and seemingly mashes him before he bursts forth from the froth victorious. I manage a couple of my 'ph' fattest carves ever and we both retire from the water as happy campers. Swell café near the previously blogged Bird Rock delivers two novel chicken burgers. Textured home made patty, lots of fresh salad and toasted turkish bun, all presented in a package so tall that only a knife and fork will do the job, conclusion? That's a tasty burger! What weekends were made for…

Lockie

And on the third day he did rise from death

2006-06-27T14:41:00.000+10:00

I'm trying to pretend that last game of the world cup didn't happen because it makes me a bit sick everytime i think about it, so just the weekend update:

No surf due to the nasty conditions and no chance for a burger either. But how impressed were Sergio, Dub, Joeleee and I when, at the Sacred Heart Community Cup, there was a minutes silence for Tolarno! To be part of 20,000 hushed people in rememberance of such a fine institution (along with other absent friends like Grant McLennan of The Go-Betweens) was something special... but... wait for it!... there are rumours of a Tolarno reprise! Yes, you heard right, according to Joeleee's bud Luke who knows the old barman, they are currently looking at sites for a new burger joint. Wow! already counting the indeterminate number of sleeps....

Lockie

photos borrowed from

Where's the salad?

2006-06-23T10:24:00.000+10:00

One of the things that happens at work is they make 3D models of different objects to check that they would fit in the vehicle storage areas, so now i have 3D data of a (not-tasty looking) burger!? hmmmm

Lockie

Socceroos through to next round!

2006-06-23T09:25:00.000+10:00

even better than a tasty burger

Lockie

No caption required...

2006-06-22T12:46:00.000+10:00

Pavement Pizza

2006-06-19T11:08:00.000+10:00

I perform a triple-twist with full pike on Sat morning due to feeling pukey but Joeleee and Dub soldier on. PS missing any day surfing is a sad thing

-----Original Message-----
From: Joeleee [mailto:joeleee@bling.com]
Sent: Monday, 19 June 2006 10:24 AM
To: Lockie
Cc: Dub [mailto:dub@whitewaterwarrior.com]
Subject: Re:

should of seen me... dub was forced to pull over so i could have a McChuck Chodle - not pretty. surf was weird at smiths, at first we thought it was small, but as soon as we got out, big monsters rolled in, both of us got munched at separate times. big spaces between sets, so you would have froze you're nards off, despite being armed with the power of glove.... more of a day for short boards, but if worked hard enough to paddle into one, could take it all the way to the beach. but worst of all, Tracy's was closed so had to resort to shite take away burger which was most def not tasty, ie you didn't miss too much, except a day surfing :>

Blessed be thy Dave

2006-06-12T21:38:00.000+10:00

Wow, just wow. Joeleee, Dub, Zippy and Lockie (i reject "Glovey" ;) stuff themselves in the scoob and head west coast minus Zombie who must have had a late night singing along to 'Message to my Girl'. Jan Juc is facing a mass exodus as we arrive but with memories of Saturday's fine performance we head down the cliffs and into a wall of white fury. It is just cray-zee trying to get out with so much water in each wave and so many huge sets. I have thankfully never been hit by a mack-truck or buffalo stampede but i reckon this goes close. After 15min of flailing and near drowning none of us has made it out the back and we admit defeat and ponder a move to Torquay surf beach. Good thing we make that move as Torquay is just magic, the rocks on the right give a nice paddle out and every few minutes there is a massive set that will let you ride all the way to the beach which we do again and again and again. The clean windless waves, the long rides, the setting sun that makes the spray off your board glow golden, the pleasant ache in your arms, the only people dropping in are your mates, the beautiful view at the takeoff spot.... best surf i've had in a long time, maybe ever. And if that isn't enough for one day we kiss nasty westside burgers goodnight and pile up plates at Ripper Roast in Geelong. Short on fuss/pretention, but big on tasty tasty roast dinners. Fingers and toes crossed for more next weekend.

Lockie

PS Carn the socceroos tonight!

you win some you lose some

2006-06-11T16:00:00.000+10:00

No one hates a post that ends in a whinge more than I do, so I'll get all the whinging done at the start! Soulfuel is a cafe in Torquay with an ambitious name and not much else it seems. I take a standard burger for $10 and get a Coles generic brand bun filled with plastic cheese, iceberg lettuce and that's about it at first glance. When i pick it up it feels so light that i assume that they've forgotten the patty but no they've got one in there between two slices of shitty cheese except it is about the size of a fifty cent piece! it is just ridiculously small and can barely be tasted, let alone be tasty. I'd previously complained about telstra dome burgers, but at least they were only $4 and I could watch the rugger, this Soulfuel effort was just a ripoff shitburger (though apparently their thai chicken "burger" was ok...)

[whinge concluded]

Sat finds Joeleee, his mate Aaron and myself cruising down the westsyeeed to Jan Juc where we find bliss conditions, comfortable sets onto a nice beach break, not a cloud in the sky and no wind to speak of. Joeleee manages to catch a bunch of clean face on his new board, must be the sexy brand-spankin fluoro red fin, and Aaron almost manages to catch a cold in a 3-2 wetty with the zip open. Splendid morning until a southerly came and made things a bit messy, but we'll be back again tomorrow with reinforcements to celebrate the birth of our glorious monarch.

Lockie

A new member of the congregation

2006-06-04T19:44:00.000+10:00

Fuelled up (or weighed down?) with massive burger, J, P and I head down the east coast today. Joeleee pops the cherry of his spanking new mal, replete with eye-of-dave talisman (photos next week when we remember the camera). Bit quiet on the swell side of things, very infrequent 3 footers rolling up against Phillip Island and we find ourselves at Smiffy which is the only place with a break given the crazy lack of water (note to selves, actually check a tide chart next time). Bit chilly in and we all get numb feet but it doesn't stop us catching our share of the scant pickings plus we meet a man who can paddle even faster than Zombie. Nude food for lunch but an out of the ordinary poor showing from the nude team, prob cause we didn't have our treasure with us! On the way home a quick stop at Outback Jack donuts. [Outback Jack, you no doubt have broadband wireless in your mobile donut truck and often search the world wide web for feedback on your (generally) fine donut products, we'd urge you to consider a move to a higher quality jam in the centre, just a thought]

Lockie

PS: what's one of the few things better than cooking yourself (and others) a tasty burger? eating your tasty burger leftovers like we just did, nice

I guess it's an automated news service but still....

2006-06-03T23:28:00.000+10:00

So I thought I'd google our website.... only one link at the moment from the Peruvian news site called Arequipa Arequipa (Arequipa being a reasonable sized town about 7hrs by bus south of Lima). You'd think if they'd actually read my post they might not have included it but I guess it's important that people get the right info ;)

Lockie

google search of "thatsatastyburger"

The 2006 Burger-Off - Round 1

2006-06-03T23:14:00.000+10:00

From where I sat, round one of the burger cooking comp was a success, Sergio, Eddie and yours truly whipping up a decent burger. Back me up people?

Lockie

Mos (definately not a tasty) burger

2006-05-26T11:35:00.000+10:00

with a dubiously similar logo, Mos Burger is the McD's of Japan, but it was also the only place i've found that serves a burger. i finally get to sample one in Shibuya, the young and trendy part of Tokyo but i had to practically force myself as all the cheap japanese food is a lot more appealing, truth be told. I couldn't tell you what I had as i had to point at a picture to get any food but it was a beef burger of some description with some salad, but no cheese? and damn tiny! note for the management, not everyone who eats at mos burger is a size 2 japanese girl! or maybe i was meant to order two? either way, not a tasty burger but really who cares in a country where you can go round any corner and get some awesome local grub for $10?

Rockie

Look what i found in Japan!

2006-05-17T14:50:00.000+10:00

So I'm just looking around this hobby store and hear all this hooting and hollering from the back of the room so I go check out what's so exciting... it's all these japanese guys playing Settrers of Catan! They are so buzzed about it but very confused when i tried to gesture that I wanted a pic :)

Plus just next door i find some double decker burger CD cases, none of that mamby pamby single patty stuff they have in Serbia hehe, they don't muck about in Japan

So all in all it feels a bit like home...BUT!... no surf.... hope someone is getting my board fixed???

Lockie

We love ninjas!

2006-05-12T11:53:00.000+10:00

Bye Bye

2006-05-12T09:03:00.000+10:00

Faithful to the judgement of the burger-masters, several (14?) of us went to enjoy the Tolarnos burger one last time. I for one was concerned that the kitchen staff may no longer have the ticker to maintain the high standard that we heard about. Yet with two weeks to go I was relieved to find that team Tolarno do still have gas in the tank.

As we stood in the semi-darkness of the Barrel Bar, my first impression of the passing burgers was "a bit small". This of course was merely a trick of the light and the proportions outlined by the massive plates. Tolarno produces a truly and old-school burger that left both veterans and virgins fatigued from the sheer pleasure and magnitude of the experience. Jol-ee for one went out too hard and appeared to fade into the blackboard menu behind him. And speaking of pleasure, did the Tolarno burger inspire Lockie and his betrothed to depart the premises in such a hurry?

As a sad footnote to our culinary saturnalia, we were shocked to find that Fitzroy St is become a burger backwater, losing not only Tolarno's but also gbc to the tyranny of rising rents. Is the Melbourne burger party over?

Zombie

Hello winter my old friend, you've come to freeze our nuts again

2006-05-08T13:11:00.000+10:00

Big nights out on Fri and Sat night couldn't dissuade us from squeezing a surf in the middle. Big swell was predicted for the weekend so Joeleee, Mendes, Zombie and yours truly made the trip to Ocean Grove to enjoy a beach break after some reef stress of previous weeks. The biting wind meant that it had officially become 'booty' weather with Sergio almost catching hypothermia and Stubbs losing all feeling in his feet for most of the day. Only Joeleee, who apparently has the penguin-feet-gene found the water warm. Either way we all catch a bunch, even if half are just frothing white-water. Beachnik Café at Barwon heads sorts us out for lunch, all of us taking the namesake burger. Unorthodox toasted bread in place of bun and no tom-sauce, but the great pattie, chutney and fresh beets compensate to make it a definite tasty burger. Having said that, all I can think about as I write this is more Tolarno action this Thursday!

this is the final countdown (dahdah duhduhduh)

2006-05-04T09:24:00.000+10:00

The BEST burger I've ever eaten (yes you read it right)

2006-05-03T16:29:00.000+10:00

Epiphanies (and burgers), I've had a few… but none quite like that at the Tolarno Bar last night. Modestly, Joeleee and birthday boy Dub had kept pretty quite about this fine institution on Fitzroy St in St Kilda. Most might associate this stretch of tarmac with a high likelihood of being bottled, but with the previously blogged GBC joing Tolarno on the same side of the road it is worth the risk, at least for now (more on this later).

With a long history dating back to 1886, Tolarno is a mixed institution, offering a bistro and hotel but it is the bar where the burger magic happens. Newbies, Sergio and I, make up the 4 who find themselves seated around a barrel table in the back room listening to Steve Earle. Pistol does the generous shouting and the ordering, but from what I gather, the latter is a simple affair, 'with' or 'without chips' being the only options. When they arrive they seem deceptively small on the large plates and it is easy to over estimate your ability to knock one over, an illusion only reinforced when you take the first delicious bite, but the inch thick patty soon puts a dent in your optimism. The buns are quite sweet, white, dense and real soft, the big strips of bacon have swiss cheese melted over them, even the beetroot that I normally hate feels at home in the mix of tastes which is set off perfectly by the Hewitson branded barbecue sauce that is smothered over the patty. This is one god damn muthaf*ckin tasty burger! It seriously is that good, one cannot help but be struck by it. You could very happily munch on these very regularly and, in fact, the barman that night recollects that he has eaten one a week for the last nine years!

I wish that I could say that he was going to eat them every week for the *next* nine years, but alas this tasty Tolarno tale takes a tragic twist. The bar and thus its burgers are shutting shop at the end of this month! Tolarnio and Lockiet, the star-crossed lovers…. how cruel to have discovered it so close to it's demise! For whatever reason the doors are closing on this St Kilda landmark and you have 25 days to get a burger in you. Personally, I don't want to dwell on the negative so I'll make the most of what I have and head back to Tolarno as much as my calendar and constitution will allow, I'd urge you all to do the same!

Lockie

Mash it up!

2006-04-29T17:45:00.000+10:00

Some beers, some dub, some potatoes and a masher...

Wooohoooo

2006-04-27T09:19:00.000+10:00

Joeleeee is in Fiji not surfing and Sergio is on the west coast but would prob prefer to be in Fiji… that leaves Zombie, Dub and I to carry the tasty torch down the west coast, but in style. Screw those povy tents, when I'm chillin wit my homeys I want a tennis court, so we hole up at the Lorne Resort for an evening, replete with indoor-heated pool and private spa. On the way there we stop for an afternoon wave at roadknight but on the beach side, the only place we can find where the swell is not getting blown out. The big size and crazy churn near the beach mean that paddling is useless, the only way out is to run 50m out the exposed reef, wait for a gap in the waves, leap into the ocean and paddle like hell away from the rocks. Works well for the first half a dozen times, we catch a few, get mashed by a few but have some fun, but of course once a grommet appears on the reef and tells me to leap off first so he can watch how it's done, the pressure is too much, I miss-step and smack onto the rocks, snap off a fin, get crushed under water by my board and generally make a fool of myself. The kid looked pretty stressed watching but luckily not much more was hurt than my pride. Minimal sympathy from Dub and Zombie but at least the surf shop has a replacement fin.

That evening turns into an odd but extrememly amusing mix of booze, tennis, [whistle], cooking, dub and disc that does not translate well but I think there's some vid around to post later that will speak volumes. Needless to say, a group of inebriated unco's playing tennis at night has comedic potential. Too mangled to wake early (a point that Stubbs will never let us live down) we cruise back up the coast the next morning, trying to find a good combo of swell and wind protection which turns out to be Boobs near Torquay… another reef break with pounding swell onto submerged rocks? Bring it on! At least that is the thought for the paddle out, but unsurpisingly it turns out to be quite hairy out there for relative newbs like Dub and I who eventually retire to the carpak to enjoy the freakish late-May sunshine with some disc. Zombie on the other hand catches a bundle and returns exhausted, screaming for burgers. Anzac day leaves only Bird Rock Café open and at $10 a burger we're optimisitic they should be ok. Sure enough, Bird Rock delivers, that's 3 tasty burgers! Unorthodox turkish buns, fat-ass patties and heaps of salad, an easy unanimous verdict.

Next Step: Rinse, add rest of burger crew, repeat!

Lockie