Debbie (and crew) does (do) Phillip Island

A rare offshore prediction for the island combined with decent swell made a trip out of Melbourne particularly appealing last weekend. So when Deb offered up the family mansion on the local beach we were all down there on friday night faster than you could say "freeloaders". Pistol, Joeleee and Sergio scoot out of town so quick they even manage a surf on the Friday arvo which was, by all accounts, amazing. These tales of reforming reform spin through my green dreams and on Sunday we resolve to hunt down more of the same but minus Dub who is sorely under the weather.

As you might expect on a 38deg surf friendly day, smith's is packed to the gills and even the back beach is pretty full. What's more, there are a million people sitting hopefully in a millpond! "Stuff that" we say and roll to Forest Caves to find a crowded carpark and lots of swell. Out we rush to grab some green, and indeed we do, until the freak sets start to roll in. One minute you'd be paddling happily near the take off point, the next you'd be getting rumbled by a set of 3 massive freight trains that suck you under until your last ounce of breathe is running out. Lovely… I am briefly side lined by an unfortunate incident involving the squashing of my private parts by my own board (don't ask...) but soon we all head out again spouting such optimism as, "It looks to have died down a bit". Nothing could be further from the truth and this is brutally illustrated when the biggest set of the whole day rumbles in and leaves poor Joeleee with only half a board. Yes! That massive mofo snapped it clean in half leaving Joeleee a desperate body board to the beach on the remaining stump while a friendly fellow surfer collected the runaway tip from out the back. Ouch.

Now I don't know if Dave (the bogan wave god) codes, and if he does I don't know if he codes in Visual Basic, but I would summarise Saturday's surf thus:

Dim numbroken As Integer = 0
Dim mashage As Integer = 0
Do Until mashage >= 30
If Ocean.Swell.PhillipIsland.ForestCaves.Wave >= 8ft Then
Mash(BurgerPosse)
mashage = mashage + 1
End If
If Ocean.Swell.PhillipIsland.ForestCaves.Wave > 10ft Then
TryToKill(Joeleee)
numbroken = numbroken + 1
End If
Loop
MsgBox("You have broken " & CStr(numbroken) & " board/s! Yowser!")

We spend the rest of the day splashing/recovering in the water on the safe bay side and playing a fun card game called "Apples something something Apples". Plus for dinner Dubbie (Dub and Debbie) cooks us round 3 of the great burger-off. In an attempt to soften up the judges, all ten of us are showered with 2 delicious seafood entrees, chilly prawns and freshly caught abalone! As for the main event, imagine if you can, spicy lamb patties (completely valid patty choice we concluded), beets, tomato, lettuce and a sauce with feta in it. A unanimous verdict from the biggest panel of critics we'd yet had at a burger event, that's a tasty dubbie burger! One girl even ate it sans bun and it was *still* tasty!

Sunday is just as scorching, maybe more, so we head down to smith's back beach to have a dip and the girls all have a crack at surfing, proving to be remarkably adept and, judging from esther's query on board prices, potential competition for waves. Truth be told, I am also very happy catching the 2ft beach break after the size of the previous day. We even sneak in a cheeky burger at Trace's Place on the way back through San Remo arriving just in time to watch Melbourne Victory win the A-League grand final 6-0! What a thoroughly splendid weekend.