Weather on Saturday mysteriously much like that of Friday, from what I've heard…

Inspite of all the weather forecasts to the contrary, the newly return-ed prodigal son Joeleee, Dub and I head down to Torquay on *Saturday* to find relatively low wind conditions but still a bit blowy at the local surf beach. Always the perfectionists we decide the cliffs of Jan Juc will give us optimum cover, suit up and head down the stairs and straight into a white frothy battlefield. Liken it if you will to the beach being Lebanon, the waves are Israel giving the beach a good old mashing and we can be innocent civilians getting double mashed in the middle. We can't even get out the back as wave after wave rolls in, I manage it for a brief second but am almost too scared to come back to shore as slow giants keep tumbling in, consuming all lesser surfers in their path (ie us!), yowser. Less than optimistic we head back to the surf beach and lo and behold the wind has died down, there are only 3 others out and the swell is up! The reef once again shelters us from the worst of it and as a result we get heaps of wave, again and again and again rolling the whole way into the beach. What a great day! Swell and Birdrock are both closed but nestled in the middle we find an enthusiastic fish & chip shop that sorts us all out with tasty (yes you read right) burgers with the lot, how delightful.

Lockie

PS special thanks to Hatty's (Hoody's?) bonnet that Glovey appropriated for the day, look how happy i am to wear it

PPS unlikely to get a wave in Thailand's bay but will try and find a burger

Northsyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Quick update from last night. Feeling a bit zonked from epic bike ride around Seymour region I find myself at Fitz Café in Brunswick St ordering the namesake Fitz Burger. Definitely not one of those 'fancy' type burgers that you see floating around, this is an old school beef patty, tomato, lettuce, fried onion and egg affair. You're given your own sauce to add (I recommend it) and the patty is strongly flavoured with rosemary and garlic, overall verdict? That's a tasty *north* side burger! Plus a glass of shiraz and a pleasant feeling of exhaustion, hard to beat.

Lockie

Mashed with a capital Joy

Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're getting the ol' reed cane or a pat on the head from Dave. Were the massive bombs on Sat an attempted punishment for a perceived slight (maybe due to Dub's comsumption of nastee Conehead burger?) or reward for our religious zeal (in valiantly overcoming hardship of said non-tasty burger)? Either way it was a suitably awed gang of Dub, Serhio (Hatty?), Zombie, myself and burger posse rookie Luca that stood on the hill at Torquay and surveyed the majesty of Dave. Very regular sets, not many folk out, offshore winds and lots of size. Not as big as these, but without a jetski&life-vest&15years-of-big-wave-experience, big enough for us. At half tide the reef spit didn't offer much protection from pounding whitewater which made it a struggle to get out the back and even once you were there you'd only find a scared looking line-up bobbing over the 7+ foot lumps, watching alertly for the 9ft rogues that appeared every so often. If you could get one of these, white or otherwise, you were rewarded with a super quick ride all the way in. Dub was lapping it up in the middle, occasionally getting shot up in the air while wearing a huge grin and Serhio in his new bonnet was owning the shore break. Zombie gets the crazy/desperate award for venturing into the vic winter surf in only a rashy to get a last minute wave while I chase the irrepressible Luca (we *got* to get him a tiny board). We all retire for late Ripper Roast lunch and that evening Serhio proves to be a more than apt bean farmer and wallops us at bohnanza. Already anticipating next weekend!

Lockie

Tasty burger drought in St Kilda

Despite the vacuum created when GBC and Tolarno both exited the scene in the space of about a month, there are still few physical signs of tasty relief around the Fitzroy Street area of St Kilda. For eateries, this area has always been a little more Darwinian than most in Melbourne because of the seasonal trade. Yet even in the coldest months (i.e. now) there are still plenty of punters around to make a profitable peddling of sufficiently tasty burgers.

So Pete ventured out to see what was out there. Two places were sampled: The Esplanade Hotel and Coneheads, both on or around Fitzroy Street.

The Espy has been around for longer than anyone can remember, and has a new kitchen. Their offering is a burger advertised as 'with the lot' + fries. At $15 a pop, this was going to have to be good to justify the price. The fries come with a tasty dipping sauce, but this was rendered unnecessary because the chips seem to have had a kilo of salt dumped on them. Bars like to serve salty food because the punters then feel thirsty and keep buying drinks, which is the business they're really in. Onto the burger itself: this was a standard patty (also salty), cheese, onions, lots of lettuce, tomato and bacon on a standard bun.
Verdict: Tasty but way overpriced - this burger can only be justified if it took a $5 haircut

Coneheads on Fitzroy St have the look and feel of a chain whose main food are cones of takeaway fries. They do a variety of burgers, so I tried the most basic 'with cheese' option at $6.90. What you get is a generic burger with a bland flavour, and afterwards a rancid taste in the roof of your mouth. Most definitely not tasty!
Verdict: Avoid

Here at Tasty Burger we take heart from the rumours of revival of the Tolarno burger somewhere in the neighbourhood - it cannot come too soon.

If you're happy and you know it, ride the froth

With a depleted burger posse (Joeleee is junketing/working-like-a-bastard around Europe, Serhio is watching the skies in Wadonga and Zombie is laid up with a hangover masquerading as a flu) it is up to Dub and I to make the pilgrimage westside. The guy at the fruit and veg shop informs us that we missed the 10ft barrels at Winki a few days earlier (oh darn…not) and good luck finding a wave. A howling offshore is keeping things flat but with a huge pack of hopefuls at Torquay and only the occasional set to all compete/fight for, it's major head trauma on a stick. Round the corner at Jan Juc it's a different story, the long length of beach has spread everyone out and there is more size in the swell so in we go. There's still a big wait between sets but when they do roll in they're plenty big enough. Dub tames the biggest dumper of the day which arches over and seemingly mashes him before he bursts forth from the froth victorious. I manage a couple of my 'ph' fattest carves ever and we both retire from the water as happy campers. Swell café near the previously blogged Bird Rock delivers two novel chicken burgers. Textured home made patty, lots of fresh salad and toasted turkish bun, all presented in a package so tall that only a knife and fork will do the job, conclusion? That's a tasty burger! What weekends were made for…

Lockie