Strange Patty in a Strange Land

A late entry I know, but as the regular reader of this news magazine would be familiar with, it’s content over timing. Upon re-entry to my native land, I have visited many spots and sampled many food items, but only few of which are worthy of mention here (doggs, slices and American lager amid a lack of surf has not been good for my version of the trim and tuck Tasty Burger crew bod). However, I did recently sample a burger not-of-the-usual meat variety.

A drive through the magical North Cascades mountain range procured lots of wonderful things, including a stop off at an old-timer dinner. I walked in not expecting much for a trucker type roadhouse, but I was instantly greeting by the friendliest of country types. Upon learnin’ of my yearnin’ for a burger, I was quickly seated and given a list containing an unusual variety.

There were at least four meats on hand beyond the standard beef including emu, elk, venison and buffalo. Given my proximity to a certain onlooker, I opted for the largest among the menagerie and tucked in. As many omnivores would know, buffalo or bison meat is advertised as more lean, yet not lacking in full flavor for those craving the more traditional bovine tang. This patty did not disappoint – grilled on a flame but not overdone and still juicy. Complimentary fillings were crisp and fresh of the salad variety and sauce was brought to the table for the diner’s choice of quantity and drip factor (a typical practice in non-fast-food US eateries). Although the bun was below par (a slim yellowish bread product) the buffalo burger was indeed tasty, with the alternative meat highly recommended, even for the non-adventurous.

In an update of the surfing injury I sustained in my final days down under, I have yet to regain feeling in the knuckles of my index and middle fingers on my left hand – 2 inches above the spot where Dubs decided to use his board as a human dicing devise. I continue to view this development of a further progression of my super-hero transformation and will shop accordingly. I’ll test my new powers of senselessness on Dub’s face once my surfing nemesis appears before me again…

Scup (noun): a type of porgy

Not content with just west side surf, I cheekily double down with an east side surf trip as well. This time joined by Sergio, Dub and surfer chick Estee. For no apparent reason, nearly every caravan park in phillip island is booked out but we luckily find a spot just outside of Cowes at what turns out to be the boganest campground ever. Was it the hordes of blokes arriving in V8 utes? Or the 30yo chav with the backwards cap who kept circling the place on a too small bmx with a mean stare? Or maybe it was those guys who kept duelling on those damn banjos?… but it certainly felt odd. No matter, we head into Cowes proper to check out their massive (read: very very small) street market, eat some grub and get sergio jacked on wine and coffee (we should have kept a closer eye on the caffeine). I submit as evidence, photo A.

A fun game of 'dictionary' (or was it the half bottle of tequila?) leaves us ready to wake up and find…. Wind affected swell. Doh! So we drive round the far side of Smith's to find lots of size, not too much wind and a long rocky beach reminiscent of Darby. Out the back there is some huge dumpers. Pistol grabs some white, Sergio grabs hold of his board for some last minute turtles, I grab a mixture of green/head-first-mashage and Estee catches some feeble rays. Lots of fun and the perfect prelude to a tasty burger at Trace's Place. Grand!

Lockie